I love
Thanksgiving. I acknowledge that that is a strange way to open a
blog post about a Christmas movie marathon but bear with me. Every year
it seems as though Thanksgiving is being given less and less
attention and getting further crushed between the commercial blitz of
Halloween and Christmas. My response to this is to push back as hard
as I can to keep Thanksgiving alive for me. However, this has an
unintended consequence. I am frequently not feeling the Christmas
spirit at all until a day or two before the main event. As such, I
am forced to try to catch up by cramming in as many holiday
festivities as possible in to too short a span of time.
Unsurprisingly, this doesn't work very well. This year I am trying
something different. For each of the thirty days between
Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas
movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features
ahead of time and will draw one, at random, from my Christmas
stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Assuming you are
still with me through that convoluted intro, thank you. Now let's
find out the first pick.
Jingle All the
Way (1996)
I'm
actually pretty pumped for this pick. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm
not under any illusions about this actually being a good movie.
However, it is one that has not been overplayed in my life. I haven't actually
watched it since I saw it in theaters in 1996, and even then I was
there more for the Star Wars Trilogy: Special Edition trailer that preceded it than I was for the actual movie. I'll be
interested to see if it is as cheesy as I remember or if it has
developed a quaint charm.
Synopsis
Arnold
Schwarzenegger plays Howard Langston, a father largely absent from
the life of his son, Jamie (played by Jake Lloyd), due to focusing
too much on work. After missing Jamie's karate class, Howard
promises him that he will make sure Santa gets him a Turbo-Man action
figure for Christmas. Unbeknownst to Howard, Turbo-Man is the hot
ticket holiday item of the year and, as it is already Christmas Eve
it will be almost impossible to find. The quest for Turbo-Man brings
him in to conflict with fellow desperate dad, Myron Larabee (played
by Sinbad). Madcap action ensues and Howard fails to get Turbo-Man
multiple times. Meanwhile, back at Howard's house his next door
neighbor, Ted (played by Phil Hartman) is trying to make moves on
Howard's wife in his continued absence. The multiple plot threads
culminate at the Wintertainment Parade. Through mistaken identity,
Howard ends up dressed at Turbo-Man in the parade and is able to give
Jaime a limited edition Turbo-Man figure. Myron will have none of
this and steals the costume of Turbo-Man's arch-nemesis, Dementor.
They battle and eventually Myron is defeated and Howard saves Jamie
from what would have been a fatal fall. After Howard reveals that he
is under the Turbo-Man helmet, Ted flees the parade fearful of Howard and Jaime gives Myron the limited edition
Turbo-Man as he now has the real thing at home.
Final Thoughts
Overall,
this film was fairly enjoyable. Most of the jokes fall flat, but
there are a few here and there that are capable of bringing a smile to ones face.
Also, assuming you are of the right age and nostalgically inclined,
there is fun to be had simply in the shots of mid-nineties toy
aisles. There is also a very early appearance of Chris Parnell in a
bit part which is fun to see. And, as a lifelong Minnesotan, it is
neat to see Twin Cities locations as they existed in early 1995
captured forever. As an aside, the reduced amount of snow is an obvious tell
that it was filmed in the spring and not in the season it purports to
be. However, there are parts that seem off putting in our modern
world. Jokes about explosives in the mail are probably less funny in
a world struggling to deal with terrorism than they were in the long
end of history victory lap of the nineties. Further, the special
effects in the climax have not aged particularly well, but that is to
be expected. Wrapping up, this wouldn't have been my first choice
for a holiday film, but compared to some of the ones coming up later
it is more earnest and therefore an okay one to start on. If nothing
else it has reminded me that I should get off my ass and get my
Christmas shopping done sooner rather than later. One down,
twenty-nine to go.
