Christmas Movie Marathon Day 29

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. We have finally arrived at the penultimate Christmas feature. What will it be?

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

           This may be the most stereotypical Christmas classic on this list. It airs as an event on NBC every year, with a near 4 hour run time with commercials. Beyond this, numerous shows have riffed on it, borrowing the idea of showing characters and events as they would be without one of the primary character’s involvements. My own personal confession is that I have never really cared all that much for this film. It could be the length, two hours and ten minutes seems exorbitant for this type of feature. Though I do like other Capra films and I think it is impossible to hate Jimmy Stewart so I really don’t know why this has never completely clicked for me. It has been a number of years since I last gave it a try so maybe this year will be different. At the very least, it has to be better than Nestor.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 27

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. Here we go with day twenty-seven! What will it be?

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

          Released in 1989 this film quickly became a holiday classic. I know that my family used to watch it nearly every Christmas. At some point we burned out on it and took a number of years off. We started watching it again a few years ago and, I have to say, I think I like it more now as an adult than I did as a child or teen. Let's see if that trend continues.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 26

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. Day twenty-six is on deck. Will it hit a home run?

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

           So here we are, day 26 and we are staring down a film that frequently finds itself on worst of lists. Originally released theatrically in 1964, this film gained new life after being featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. However, I have never actually seen that version nor any version of this film. I haven't even seen clips. Unless I have gone insane from writing about so many Christmas features, I believe that fact makes this feature unique amongst the picks from the stocking. This is the only feature that I have no prior experience with. It figures that the only one truly new to me would be one that many consider terrible. I'm a glutton for punishment. Let's get this over with.

Synopsis

           The film opens with a broadcast from KID-TV. They are interviewing Santa live at the North Pole. All of this seems pretty normal, but the film then pulls back to reveal two Martian children watching the broadcast. Their father, Kimar, is concerned. They have been spending a large amount of time watching the Earth broadcasts and have seemed sullen and listless of late. In fact, he has been forced to use the sleep spray to get them to go to bed everyday recently. His wife, Momar, shares his concerns and suggests that he call together the Martian council and see the advice of Chochem, an 800 year old Martian sage.

           With the council assembled, they seek out Chochem and explain the issues they are experiencing with their children. Chochem states that he is not surprised and that he has seen this coming for some time. The source of the problem, according to him, is that Martian children are machine educated from the moment they are born. By the time they walk they are already like adults. They need to be allowed to have fun. The only solution he can see it that Martian children need Santa Claus. Voldar, one of the other council members is strongly opposed to this solution, but Kimar is resolved. The Martian council sets out to Earth to capture Santa.

You can tell Voldar is evil because of his mustache.

           They arrive in Earth orbit but are spotted by Earth radar as their radar shield is malfunctioning. It turns out that Kimar's assistant Dropo has stowed away in the radar box and is the cause of the technical issue. With him found and removed, the radar sheild is fixed and the Martians can begin their search for Santa in earnest. They quickly encounter an issue in their search. They are incapable of figuring out which of the many guys in Santa suits is the real Santa. To resolve this the Martians find two Earth children, Billy and Betty, and press them for information on where Santa can be found. The children tell the Martians and then Voldar suggest that they take the children with them as otherwise the children may tip off the Earth authorities to their plot. Kimar is reluctant but eventually sees the logic in what Voldar suggests.

           With the children in tow, the Martians go to the North Pole and soon capture Santa with out much difficulty. Santa is obviously perturbed at being taken against his will but he also can't allow children, even Martian children, to go without knowing the joys of Christmas. Voldar continues to oppose the change that Santa and the Christmas spirit are bringing to the Martians and makes multiple attempts on his and the Earth children's lives. These attempts are thwarted and Voldar is forced to flee to the wilderness to continue his plots. With Voldar dealt with for the short term, Kimar sets Santa up with an advanced Martian workshop to begin construction of the Martian Christmas presents. However, as Kimar's children improve in spirits, Billy and Betty begin to get sullen. Momar accesses that they are homesick and tells Kimar that they must be sent home. Kimar doesn't think that is possible as the Earthings would then arrive to take back Santa.

Stockholm syndrome has set in pretty well by this point.

           Dropo is taking a great interest in Santa and his work and happens to be trying on an extra Santa suit just as Voldar launches an operation to sabotage the workshop. Mistaking Dropo for Santa, Voldar and his men kidnap him. With what they think is Santa secure, Voldar and his men go to use this captive to negotiate for the end of this folly of experimentation with Christmas. Surprised by the presence of a second Santa, Voldar and his men are overcome by Santa, the Martian and Earth children, and Kimar. It is decided that Dropo will become the Martian Santa and Santa and the Earth children are allowed to return home.

Witness Dropo the Martian Santa.  Martian Christmas is doomed

Final Thoughts

           I am surprised to find myself saying this, but this wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Don't get me wrong, it looks like it was made for about $5.00. And, there are plot threads that go nowhere, such as the U.S. Space Force's pursuit of the Martian ship. Also, it falls into the trap of a lot of low budget 1950s and 1960s sci-fi and uses copious amounts of military stock footage. But if you can get over the goofy sets and less than great acting, there is at least an attempt at a charming Christmas tale. It doesn't always or even often work but there is an effort there. Sometimes that is all you can ask for. It was good enough for day 26. What will I see tomorrow? Come back here to find out (please).

This is the level of effects to expect if you watch this.  Brace yourself and abandon all hope.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 22

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. Let's find out what the twenty-second feature is.

The Santa Clause (1994)

           I have only seen this movie one time, on VHS, way back in the holiday season of 1995. My mother arranged to have someone place a package from Santa in our tree while we were out doing whatever holiday activities we were up to 21 years ago. That package was a VHS copy of The Santa Clause. My family watched it together that night. I remember enough about the story to know that I didn't hate it but it also didn't become something I watched in future years. If I was that lukewarm on it at age 10 it doesn't bode particularly well for me now. But, maybe I'm wrong, let's find out. 

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 20

          

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. Day twenty is coming in hot!

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

           This pick represents a number of milestones for this list. First, as stated yesterday, this marks two-thirds of this project completed. I wasn't sure I would make it this far when I first started out. Second, this is the last of the four features that include Muppets. (A fact that my girlfriend will be relieved by.) Lastly, it is the final feature to be an adaptation of A Christmas Carol. With a feeling of pride over tackling all of those milestones, let us begin.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 18

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. Here comes day eighteen.

Scrooged (1988)

           This pick marks the second one that is based on A Christmas Carol. I'm not sure when I originally saw this movie, though I do remember being slightly scared of its ads. What can I say, I was an easily frightened kid. Further there was something weird about seeing Bill Murray, who I knew primarily as Peter Venkman, harassed by ghosts. In any case, I did eventually see it and it was enjoyable. It isn't a feature that I watch every holiday season, but I'm not fully sure why that is. I enjoy it every time that I do. Maybe I'll have to change my viewing habits regarding this movie.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 17

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. What will I be viewing for day seventeen?

Die Hard (1988)

           I am beginning to think that this stocking may actually have gained sentience and is just messing with me. First it gave me Home Alone 2 followed three days later by Home Alone. Then it gave me Die Hard 2. Now, three days later, it has given me the original Die Hard. I received this movie on DVD from my brother the same Christmas that he gave me Die Hard 2. Originally released in 1988 this is the film that cemented Bruce Willis as an action star. Even though I didn't see it until nearly two decades later I was a fan almost immediately. This is another pick that stretches the definition of Christmas movie, but it is one that I am looking forward to. Let's get under way.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 16

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. I really wonder if anyone is even reading these introductions anymore. Whatever, what is day sixteen's feature?

A Christmas Story (1983)

           Long before this was played 24 hours a day every Christmas Eve on TBS, this film was a staple of my family's holiday season. Family legend holds that, one Christmas Eve, my mom was waiting up to make sure that my brother and I were asleep so that Santa could make his visit. Not an easy feat, as I was a particularly light and unwilling sleeper on most of my childhood Christmas Eves. While waiting she was looking for something to watch and stumbled upon this film on whichever cable movie channel we had at that time. Although she was originally just looking for something to pass the time, she was soon engrossed in the movie. In the Christmases that followed that year, my whole family would watch it on VHS. To this day, we have the TBS marathon on as background noise to our Christmas revelry.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 15

            I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. We are already at the half way point to Christmas and most of my preparations are still not done. Apparently, I didn't learn that much from Jingle All the Way. Regardless, let's find out what I'm watching for feature number 15.

Miracle on 34^th Street (1947)

           It is safe to say that we are back with more traditional Christmas movie fare with this pick. I know that I have seen this version of Miracle on 34^th Street at least once, but I'll admit that it is not the version that I am most familiar with. The one that I have seen most often is the 1994 remake. I almost selected that one for the list, but I opted for the original instead for two reasons. First, the 1994 remake is a John Hughes vehicle and with the Home Alone series I already had two of those. Second, my girlfriend has been watching these with me and somehow she is entirely unaware of the plot of Miracle on 34^th Street. It wouldn't be fair to introduce it to her through a remake. Therefore, it had to be the original. This is the oldest film selected to this point and doesn't feature a single Muppet, how will I feel about this Christmas classic?

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 14

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. Two full weeks in to this and things are really moving along now. What does the stocking have for me this time?

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990)

          So, I am sensing a trend in the stocking's picks. It really seems to like to have me watch sequels before the films that led to them. That is fine with me. It actually worked out pretty well last time. I am aware that this film may seem like a cheat as it is an action movie first and foremost, but it takes place on Christmas Eve and there are Christmas decorations in the background frequently. That's good enough for me, and it is my list. Released in 1990 Die Hard 2 obviously is the follow up to Die Hard. I have seen the film before; I received it on DVD as a Christmas gift from my brother. However, it has been around eight or so years since I watched it last. I remember Die Hard 2 to be largely a repeat of the first film. But, unlike Home Alone 2, I do remember it being fun, if slightly ridiculous. Will that still be my opinion or will a follow up viewing shift my feelings towards it. A slight note, the movie itself doesn't refer to itself with the Die Harder subtitle but a lot of video releases do, including my DVD. I love how ridiculously bad that subtitle is, hence that is how I will be referring to this film from here on out.

Synopsis

           Die Harder opens with John McClane having his car impounded at Dulles Airport on Christmas Eve. While waiting for his wife's flight to arrive he sees two suspicious men making their way into a restricted area of the airport. Shorty after McClane investigates, he has his first kill of the movie. McClane is sure that there was more to the actions of the men, but the airport security is confident that they were just luggage thieves and are unwilling to close the area to investigate due to the volume of holiday travel. McClane is right, of course, and soon terrorists led by disgraced U.S. special forces Colonel William Stuart have taken command of the control tower systems remotely and are holding the planes in the air hostage to secure the release of a South American dictator/drug kingpin, General Ramon Esperanza, currently in the process of extradition to the United States.

Death by luggage roller, the first of many violent deaths meted out by John McClane

           A game of cat and mouse is played with the stakes escalating to the point where the terrorists cause a plane to come in for a landing but give it the wrong telemetry so that they think they are higher than they are and they crash on the tarmac. Despite McClane's efforts Stuart and his men are able to secure Esperanza. This brings in the special forces to take Stuart down. Eventually, Stuart's base of operations is located in a nearby church and an assault is launched. The fire fight is intense but the special forces are unable to prevent Stuart's escape. McClane sets off in pursuit and discovers that the machine guns being used by both the special forces and Stuart's men were shooting blanks. Both sides are part of the same plot. The special forces join up with Stuart and start to make their final escape on a cargo conversion 747. McClane gets a news helicopter to pull up along side the jet as it is taxiing up the runway. McClane jumps aboard the wing. Although he is unsuccessful in stopping the plane and gets thrown off of it, he does manage to activate the fuel dump. McClane delivers his catch phrase and lights the fuel trail on fire. The plane explodes and Stuart, his men, and Esperanza are all dead. The planes circling above that by this point are very low on fuel use the light from the fire to land safely. Roll credits and play Let it Snow.

"Yippee Ki-yay, Mr. Falcon!" - John McClane's catch phrase according to the TBS broadcast version.

Final Thoughts

           Die Harder is enjoyable as long as you accept it for what it is. I only have a couple of real complaints. First this movie makes John McClane in to some kind of Schwarzenegger-esque super human. This is far different than his portrayal in the first film. Further, this film commits one of what I consider to be the cardinal sins of sequels. It needlessly brings back way too many of the characters from the first film. I like William Atherton. He plays a great weaselly antagonist (see Ghostbusters). However, his character from the first film really didn't need to be brought back. To make it even worse, he fills the same role in the film. In an attempt to score a great scope, he disregards the delicacy of the situation at hand and makes life harder for McClane.

William Atherton may have the most punchable face of all time.

           There are enough interesting things going on in Die Harder that it is on the cusp of being a legitimately great sequel. However it also takes more than a few turns to absolute action schlock. You won't be blown away by it but you probably won't be disappointed by it either. As for watching it as part of your holiday movie rotation, it might not be for everyone but it can be a fun change of pace. For me, with thirty films and specials to watch it is good to have a couple of unorthodox ones to break the monotony. That is all for me today. Join me tomorrow to see if we are back to something more traditional or if we continue with odd picks.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 12

          I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. We are already up to the twelfth day of Christmas (Movie Marathon). I wonder what my stocking got for me. 

Home Alone (1990)

           So here we are three days later and the stocking has given me the film that would spawn Home Alone 2. I haven't watched the original Home Alone in years. In fact, I was probably still in junior high the last time I saw it. Regardless, I have some pretty strong memories of it and, unlike its sequel, they are positive ones. I wasn't allowed to see Home Alone during its theatrical run, and I'm not exactly sure why this was the case. I mean, while my parents adhered pretty strictly to the MPAA's ratings system, Home Alone was only rated PG. That doesn't matter too much because we did rent the film on VHS in the 1991 holiday season so I wasn't left far behind the pop culture curve.

           If I am being honest, this movie is one of the reasons for this entire project. I was recently introduced to the Purple Stuff Podcast. That podcast includes Matt from Dinosaur Dracula, and more relevant to me formerly of the website I wasted much of the early 2000s on, X-Entertainment. As such, I burned through the back catalog. On (at least) one of the episodes they mentioned this film and it made me realize how long it had been since I'd seen it. That coupled with a need to find some creative outlet and my desire to get in to the holiday spirit forged this project and by extension this blog. What all of this means is that I am happy with this pick and that you should listen to the Purple Stuff Podcast.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 9

           I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. What's behind curtain number 9?

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

           Oh boy... It was always a possibility that we could draw this film before the first in the series. I had thought of taking steps to prevent this but, in the end, I decided that this could be part of the fun. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is one of only a handful of films on the list that I saw during its initial release. Important to bear in mind with that statement is the fact that I would have only been 7 years old at the time that I saw this in theaters. Even at that young and impressionable age, I found Home Alone 2 rather underwhelming.

           The plot to Home Alone 2 is largely the plot to the first film only set in New York instead of Kevin's house and home town. The characters are largely the same and so are the story beats. If you aren't too familiar with the original Home Alone this may not be obvious but keep checking back as we will get to the original eventually. I haven't seen this movie since that day 24 years ago and I really haven't had much of a desire to. I mostly remember it as disappointing and derivative.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 5

          I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. Now let's look at day 5's selection.

Elf (2003)

           Elf was released when I was in my senior year of high school, but I didn't see it until the holiday season of 2010. I'm not exactly sure why this is. At first I thought I might have been experiencing Will Ferrell burn-out, but a quick Google search reveals to me that Anchorman and the rest of his run of hit comedies came out after this. Only Old School predates it. The hard truth is I guess I must have thought myself too good for a Christmas movie in 2003. That sadly makes sense; I was not far removed from the height of my moody teenage years at that point. Regardless of why I didn't see it initially, I have enjoyed seeing it since. However, I am pretty sure I have only ever watched it on cable. This viewing marks my first time ever seeking it out specifically.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 3

          I'm trying something different to get in the holiday spirit this year.  Every day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special.  I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched.  Thank you for joining me in this endeavor.  Now let's find out what the third pick is.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

         So, this is one that simply had to be added to the list of Christmas films.  Rare Exports is a very unique entry on this list.  Normally, when one thinks about Christmas movies, horror-comedy is not a genre that jumps to mind.  Despite the admittedly awkward genre, Rare Exports is a Christmas movie through and through.  It is also our first and, unless I am totally forgetting what is in the stocking, only foreign feature.  I was lucky enough to catch this one when it was on its theatrical run in the holiday season of 2010.  I have watched it one time since then and am excited to give it another viewing.

Christmas Movie Marathon Day 1

           I love Thanksgiving. I acknowledge that that is a strange way to open a blog post about a Christmas movie marathon but bear with me. Every year it seems as though Thanksgiving is being given less and less attention and getting further crushed between the commercial blitz of Halloween and Christmas. My response to this is to push back as hard as I can to keep Thanksgiving alive for me. However, this has an unintended consequence. I am frequently not feeling the Christmas spirit at all until a day or two before the main event. As such, I am forced to try to catch up by cramming in as many holiday festivities as possible in to too short a span of time. Unsurprisingly, this doesn't work very well. This year I am trying something different. For each of the thirty days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of features ahead of time and will draw one, at random, from my Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Assuming you are still with me through that convoluted intro, thank you. Now let's find out the first pick.

Jingle All the Way (1996)

           I'm actually pretty pumped for this pick. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not under any illusions about this actually being a good movie. However, it is one that has not been overplayed in my life. I haven't actually watched it since I saw it in theaters in 1996, and even then I was there more for the Star Wars Trilogy: Special Edition trailer that preceded it than I was for the actual movie. I'll be interested to see if it is as cheesy as I remember or if it has developed a quaint charm.

Synopsis

           Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Howard Langston, a father largely absent from the life of his son, Jamie (played by Jake Lloyd), due to focusing too much on work. After missing Jamie's karate class, Howard promises him that he will make sure Santa gets him a Turbo-Man action figure for Christmas. Unbeknownst to Howard, Turbo-Man is the hot ticket holiday item of the year and, as it is already Christmas Eve it will be almost impossible to find. The quest for Turbo-Man brings him in to conflict with fellow desperate dad, Myron Larabee (played by Sinbad). Madcap action ensues and Howard fails to get Turbo-Man multiple times. Meanwhile, back at Howard's house his next door neighbor, Ted (played by Phil Hartman) is trying to make moves on Howard's wife in his continued absence. The multiple plot threads culminate at the Wintertainment Parade. Through mistaken identity, Howard ends up dressed at Turbo-Man in the parade and is able to give Jaime a limited edition Turbo-Man figure. Myron will have none of this and steals the costume of Turbo-Man's arch-nemesis, Dementor. They battle and eventually Myron is defeated and Howard saves Jamie from what would have been a fatal fall. After Howard reveals that he is under the Turbo-Man helmet, Ted flees the parade fearful of Howard and Jaime gives Myron the limited edition Turbo-Man as he now has the real thing at home.

Final Thoughts

           Overall, this film was fairly enjoyable. Most of the jokes fall flat, but there are a few here and there that are capable of bringing a smile to ones face. Also, assuming you are of the right age and nostalgically inclined, there is fun to be had simply in the shots of mid-nineties toy aisles. There is also a very early appearance of Chris Parnell in a bit part which is fun to see. And, as a lifelong Minnesotan, it is neat to see Twin Cities locations as they existed in early 1995 captured forever. As an aside, the reduced amount of snow is an obvious tell that it was filmed in the spring and not in the season it purports to be. However, there are parts that seem off putting in our modern world. Jokes about explosives in the mail are probably less funny in a world struggling to deal with terrorism than they were in the long end of history victory lap of the nineties. Further, the special effects in the climax have not aged particularly well, but that is to be expected. Wrapping up, this wouldn't have been my first choice for a holiday film, but compared to some of the ones coming up later it is more earnest and therefore an okay one to start on. If nothing else it has reminded me that I should get off my ass and get my Christmas shopping done sooner rather than later. One down, twenty-nine to go.